26 July 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium
Prem means love and upassana means worship. This should be your attitude of a deep, loving worship, of a worshipful love. The attitude of worship is something which has to be felt. Ordinarily it has disappeared from the world. People have completely forgotten what worship really means. It is an approach towards reality with a child's heart not calculating, not cunning, not analysing, but full of awe, of a tremendous feeling of wonder, a feeling of mystery surrounding you... the feeling of the presence of the hidden and the occult in existence... that things are not as they appear to be. The appearance is just the periphery. Deep beyond the appearance something of tremendous significance is hiding. So when a child runs after a butterfly, he is worshipful, or when he suddenly comes across a path and sees a flower... an ordinary flower, just a grass flower but he stands there in deep wonder. Or he comes across a snake and is surprised and full of energy. Each moment brings some surprise. He takes nothing for granted; that is the attitude of worship. Never take anything for granted. Once you start taking things for granted, you are settling. Your child is disappearing, your wonder is dying, and when there is no wonder in the heart, there can be no worship. Worship means that life is mysterious, so much so that there is really no way to understand it. It surpasses understanding. All our efforts fail. And the more we try to know, the more unknowable it seems. So this you have to regain, reclaim. And you can claim it very easily; that's why I give you the name upassana. Just a little effort on your part and that too only in the beginning just to remove the conditioning of the mind that is obstructing your real being. So become a child again. Let sannyas be a rebirth, and from this very moment start feeling like a child. When you go outside, look to the trees again, to the sky again, with fresh eyes.
Worship has nothing to do with the church or the temple. It has something to do with the reality that surrounds you. Once you look with deep wonder, the whole reality becomes the temple. You make it sacred by your very look of surprise. When in your eyes there is mystery, the whole existence becomes a temple; it is a shrine. When your wonder disappears, is lost, the world is dry, dead. So pulsate with this new feeling of being a child again and soon you will find the lost track. That's where paradise is lost. The moment we lose our childhood, we lose our paradise, so be a child again. Jesus says, 'Only those who are like children will be able to enter into my kingdom of God.' And he is absolutely true. [A sannyasin says: I notice I always want things I can't get and then I get very miserable if I don't get them. If I get them, I lose interest.] It is part of your work upon yourself. In fact the day a person decides not to ask for things he likes but starts to like things which happen, that day a man becomes mature. One can go on wanting what one likes. That will make you always miserable, because in the first place it is never going to happen. The world is not running according to your likes and dislikes. It has no guarantee that what you want, the whole is also wanting; there is no guarantee. There is every possibility that the whole is destined towards something else that you don't know anything about at all. There is no possibility of its ever being fulfilled, so frustration and misery will be its outcome. And if by chance sometimes it happens that you fall in the rhythm with the whole, and by accident you like the same thing which was going to happen on its own, and it coincides which is very rare then too it is not your desire being fulfilled. No, it is simply because by some accident you liked the same thing which was already going to happen; whether you liked it or not was irrelevant. When sometimes it does happen, then too you will not feel very happy, because whatsoever we demand, we have already lived through fantasy, so it is already secondhand. If you say that you would like a certain man to be your lover, then in many dreams and in many fantasies you have already loved that man. And if it happens, then the real man is going to fall short of your fantasy and he is going to be just a carbon copy because reality is never as fantastic as fantasy. Then you will be frustrated. So a person who goes on asking for his own desires to be fulfilled is going to be frustrated. Either the desire is going to be fulfilled or not. Misery will be the outcome. If you start liking that which is happening, if you don't put your own will against the whole, if you simply say okay, whatsoever happens you simply say 'Yes', then you can never be miserable, because whatsoever happens, you are always in a positive attitude ready to receive it and enjoy it. If it goes just according to your nature, very good. If it sometimes goes against your nature, you take it as part of growth. If it is pleasure, good. If it is pain you accept it as a price to be paid for all the pleasures that are available in the world, the cost to be paid. If it is pain, a positive, yes-saying person accepts it as a growth pain and is happy about it because through it, growth will happen. If pleasure happens he accepts it as a gift of God. You cannot make
him miserable. On one hand you cannot make a man happy if he is desiring too much and wanting this and that; it is impossible to make him happy. On the other hand it is just the opposite. A person may accept whatsoever happens with deep gratitude whatsoever: good or bad, day or night, summer or winter, it makes no difference. He simply accepts, because whatsoever God sends must be good, has to be good. 'If I cannot see good in it then I have to grow into my awareness and see it. Nothing is wrong in it, something is wrong in me. So there is no need to be frustrated with it. The need is to grow more, to expand more, to understand more. Pain is happening because I am still not so alert and aware. If I am really aware then pain becomes impossible.' Awareness brings you into the rhythm of existence. You become part of this organic unity. You don't move alone and separate. You don't function as an island, you don't isolate yourself. You are no more an ego and you don't try to go upstream. You float with the stream. In fact you become the stream. You have no will of your own; this is what surrender is. Try this time. Just go that's exactly right creating no misery for yourself. And not only with this. With everything, from this moment, try the 'yes' attitude, the religious attitude. The grumbling, the complaining, always desiring something and then being frustrated and feeling negative and sad, not only creates misery, it creates a barrier between you and God because how can you love a God who goes on frustrating you? You propose and He disposes, and whatsoever you want He never fulfills. And He goes on doing things that you never asked for. How can you love a God who is never for you and always against you? By and by a certain antagonism arises and that antagonism is the greatest barrier between you and life. So drop that. Float and let things happen, and soon you will see things are really happening as they should. In fact in the very desire that you wanted things otherwise, you were creating trouble for yourself. Things are as they should be. They have always been that way. Existence is going so smoothly. Look at the stars and the trees and the birds and the rivers. Things are going so smoothly. There seems to be no problem. All problems exist in man and in the mind of man, and the problems are created, manufactured by man. First he desires something and in that very desire he is creating a conflict between himself and the whole. And how can you win against the whole? That's what Jesus says: 'Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done.' That is the deepest prayer ever uttered: 'Let Thy will be done. I withdraw. I will no more come in the way. I give way. I will simply open.' If you desire, you are never open because the very desire makes you narrow. There are millions of alternatives and you desire one thing. So except for that one thing, everything else is excluded; you are focused on one thing. You don't know that there are millions of alternatives, millions of possibilities. Why hanker for this one? Why emphasise this one? Why pay so much attention to one at the cost of the whole existence? You can never be open when you desire. When you are ambitious you can never be open. An ambitious man is a closed man. When you have no ambition and you float moment to moment and say whatsoever happens is good, you are open. Then the whole existence is available.
Suddenly you see that it was simply stupid of you to ask. Where so much is being given without asking, it was simply idiotic to ask. Then a certain dance starts in the very core of your being, and one starts being happy, and that happiness is not dependent on any circumstances. It is very independent. It is a freedom because now no circumstance can take it away from you. It is coming from you, it is arising from you. It is yours, authentically yours. If I say that if I become rich then I will be happy, then I have a condition, and that condition is not altogether in my hands. I can be robbed, my bank can go bankrupt, the country can change its politics, can become communist anything can happen. So if I am not rich I cannot be happy. A person who says, 'Whatsoever happens, I am going to remain happy; it will not make any difference to me. I will find a way to be happy whatsoever the circumstance,' is independent. No politics can make any difference. No change in the state of the outside world can make any difference. Poor or rich, a beggar or a king, he remains the same. His inner climate does not change. This is the goal of all meditation to attain to such a tranquillity, to such a stillness that it is unconditional. Only then it is yours. Then whatsoever happens, let it happen. You remain happy. You remain tremendously happy. ... Drop your will and you will see that things that you were hankering for start happening on their own. Once you drop your conflict with God, you never propose anything, He never disposes. Suddenly things start running in a smooth way. Everything fits and falls together. [A visitor says she misses her eight-year-old son in america.] Mm... sometimes it is very good to leave the children alone also. Too much protection, too much closeness hampers the growth; it does not enhance it. Sometimes it is very good to leave the child alone. When you go back, you will find him more mature and standing more on his own. It will not be a loss; it will be a gain. But we will see. There is nothing to be worried about right now. Would you like to say something about yourself? [She answers: I don't know why I'm here... I'm very afraid.] Nobody knows. That's the mystery. You don't know but I know why you are here. ... When one never knows why one is here and one is here, fear also arises. You are here in spite of yourself, that's why the fear. But it had to be so. Much has to happen here. You are not going to be the same. Something is coming to a boiling point within you. It needs my help so you can evaporate. And you cannot know what it is because unless it happens how can you know what it is? So take a jump into sannyas. The first thing to do is sannyas, then things become easier [She answers: I find myself really resisting very strongly. I don't want to surrender.]
But the very resistance shows that deep down you want to surrender, otherwise why resist? If deep down you don't want to surrender, there is no need to resist. One doesn't want to surrender finished! But the resistance shows that you want to surrender and you want to fight this wanting. It is a conflict within you. It has nothing to do with me. Deep down you would like to move in a total surrender where all your worries are dissolved and you can simply rest. But you are afraid; everybody is afraid of surrendering. It is a futile fear but it is there in everybody because ordinarily we think we are somebody and we are nothing! What will you surrender? What have you got to surrender? If you surrender to me, what will you surrender? just a bogus ego, just an idea that you are somebody. It is just a fiction. You surrender the fiction and you become the real. You surrender that which you don't really have and then you become that which you are. But one clings, because for our whole life we have been trained to be independent. For the whole life we have been trained, programmed to fight, as if the whole of life is nothing but a struggle to survive. It is more than that. And it is beautiful that it is more than that, otherwise it would have been absolutely ugly if it were just a struggle to survive, just a conflict. Life is known only when you start surrendering. Then you don't fight, you start enjoying. But in the West the concept of the ego is very strong and everybody is trying to conquer something. Even people talk of conquering nature. Absolutely foolish ! We are part of nature; how can we conquer it? We can destroy it; we cannot conquer it. That's why in the West the whole nature is destroyed by and by; the whole ecology is disturbed. There is nothing to conquer. In fact one has to move with nature, in nature, and to allow nature to be. So when we teach surrendering, the whole meaning is that you stop fighting, you stop this nonsense of conquering. Rather, start celebrating. Don't waste time. With whom are you fighting? And when you surrender to me it is just symbolic. I am nobody... just an excuse to teach you how to surrender. Once you have learned the art of surrendering, you can forget me. You surrender to trees, you surrender to the moon and the sun and the rivers and the rocks and your child and your husband and the skies; you surrender to the whole. But one has to start somewhere. It will be very difficult to surrender to your husband. It will look almost absurd to surrender to a tree or to the stars. So I am just an excuse here. Once you know the taste of surrendering, then the basic thing is to surrender not to whom; that is irrelevant. Once you surrender, God enters you. Then you are open from everywhere. All the windows and the doors are open. But you think about it, mm? It is going to happen. You can postpone a little. That's okay... I am not in a hurry! [A sannyasin asks about returning to the West; earning money; living in Poona; finishing his doctor's thesis which he did not enjoy doing; or writing a thesis about Osho's unteachable teaching.] Mm, never do anything that you don't enjoy. It is very destructive. Nothing is worth that much, nothing. If you enjoy it, it is good. Even if it is worthless, it is good if you enjoy it, because the basic
criterion is your enjoyment, nothing else. Whether you get a PhD or not, that is meaningless. If you enjoyed it, then it is good. Always remember to feel the intrinsic value of a thing. Don't look for results. The intrinsic value is herenow. If you are enjoying the idea to work on my teachings, start, and enjoy it. If something comes out of it, good, but the basic thing should be your enjoyment. It is my feeling that when you enjoy something it becomes valuable not only for you, for others also. And if you really go deep into it just out of love, you are bound to find something tremendously valuable. And when you are just dragging with something because you have to do it for this degree, for this or that, then nothing is going to come out of it. You may waste seven or seventy years but you will not find anything through it, because to find anything one has to go deep. And only through enjoyment one goes deep; there is no other way. If you are blissful, you can ride on that wave and can reach to unknown realms. Your intuitive faculties start functioning when they are showered with bliss, enjoyment. Then you play around. It is not boring, a heavy load to be carried. It is not something to be carried, because you care. And then, by and by you go on sinking to your depth. From that depth a response comes which can be valuable, which is bound to be valuable. So if you love, start. That will be very good. [The sannyasin then says: Do you think I should come and stay here rather than settle in the West?] Yes, it will be good. Right now it will be good. You are growing; inside you are growing. Just now if you go into life, you will be in a mess. First become more and more settled in your centre. Be more centred, and then you have to go into life. But wait a little more. Right now I don't think it will be good for you. You will do something foolish and then you will suffer for it. If you had asked me the same thing two months ago, I would have said you can go because you had nothing to lose. Now you have something to lose. You follow me ? Now something is growing, a very tender shoot, so it can be crushed immediately. It will be too much right now. Let the plant be a little stronger and then it has to go into the world because the test is there. [A plump sannyasin is concerned about her weight and she felt hurt because a man she spent the night with said she was fat.] You feel good inside forget the outside. You must be trying to create some trouble and problem for yourself. If you are feeling good inside, why create any trouble? ... Something is happening, don't be worried. If some relation happens with somebody, good. If he moves, that is good; if he comes close, that is good. Simply don't be distracted by anything. Enjoy your inner joy that is coming to you. Don't disturb it for any outside thing. Soon it will be overflowing to the outside too. But if you start thinking too much about the outside, then it will stop. So in this moment simply forget all other problems. Enjoy! If something good is
happening within, enjoy, meditate. And if some casual relationship happens, good. Don't hanker for any permanent thing. And before somebody says to you 'Aren't you fat?' you yourself can say, 'Look how fat I am.' Yes! why wait for him? And nothing is wrong in being fat. A stupid idea has got into the West that something is wrong in it. In fact in the East, people like fat women more [laughter]. Look at indian film actresses. In India, people like fat women more. A thin woman is not natural. She may be dieting and forcing herself and trying to remain thin, but it is not natural. Leave nature to work and every woman will become fat. She has to, because a woman has to gather much fat for the child. A man cannot gather that much fat. He has no empty spaces inside, but a woman has many empty spaces inside. She needs them; they are reservoirs of energy. When the child comes into the womb he will need much energy, fat, food, and the woman will not be able to eat, so this reservoir helps. Only a fat woman can be a good mother. But in the West a stupid concept has come, but don't be bothered by it. This goes on changing. In every age it changes. Sometimes people love fat women, sometimes thin; it is like a fashion. And women have never really uttered what they really like to be. They always look to the man and to what he likes. If you look into old indian statues, Khajuraho, Konark and Puri temples, you will always find very fat women, because in India they have always loved the motherhood of woman. A thin woman cannot really be a mother. So don't be worried about it. Enjoy it! Become an Indian! When you become thin, you can become Western again. When you are fat be an Indian. And just enjoy your meditation and let things happen inside you, mm? [A sannyasin says: I find it very hard to meditate. I like to dance a lot, but that's the only thing I find I can do easily.] Then continue it, but continue it every day, and you can join the movement group and the music group. When they are playing, dance around. A continuous effort is needed, that's all; there is no problem. If you do it one day and you don't another day, it will never enter your being. It has to become part of your life. Just as you take food, as you go to sleep, meditate in the same way. Don't decide each day whether to meditate or not. For six months make a decision that you will meditate, whatsoever happens. Decide that even if you are ill, you will meditate. Don't give the mind any excuse. Even if you are dead, don't worry [laughter]: If others become afraid, that is their problem, but you have to meditate !