12 July 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium
[A sannyasin says: We don't have any children yet and I have some feeling to have a child. I'm thirty-two now and I feel ready, but I would like your advice. Osho checks her energy.] Just one thing. You can become a mother, but whenever you make love, always make love after meditation. Make it a point that you meditate, and only when the energy is very meditative, only then make love. When you are in a deep meditative state and the energy is flowing, you conceive a higher quality soul. What type of soul enters you depends on where you are. This almost always happens that people make love when they are sexual. Sexuality is a lower centre. It happens sometimes that when people are angry and fighting, they make love. That too is very low, very low. You open your door to a much lower soul. Or people make love as a routine, a mechanical habit, something that has to be done every day or twice a week or whatsoever. They do it just as a mechanical routine or as part of physical hygiene, but then it is very mechanical. It has nothing of your heart in it, and then you allow very low souls to enter you. Love should be almost like prayer. Love is sacred. It is the holiest thing that exists in man. So first one should prepare oneself to move into love. Pray, meditate, and when you are full of a different kind of energy which has nothing to do with the physical, in fact nothing to do with the sexual, then you are vulnerable to a higher quality soul. So; much depends on the mother. You can become a mother you are ready but if you are not very alert about it, you will get entangled with a very ordinary soul. People are almost unaware of what they are doing. If you go to purchase a car, even then you think much about it. If you go to purchase furniture for your room,
you have a thousand and one alternatives and you think about this and that, which one will suit. But as far as children are concerned, you never think about what type of children you would like, what type of soul you are going to invoke, invite. And millions are the alternatives... from Judas to Jesus, &om the darkest soul to the holiest. Millions are the alternatives and your attitude will decide. Whatsoever your attitude, you become available to that sort of soul. If you go higher, you become available to higher souls. You go lower, you become available to lower souls. So remember this much. And you are ready.... [A sannyasin said he had a terrible pain in his back due to a slipped disc. It has happened before whenever he opens up to meditation through therapy.] Then it has something to do with the energy. It has to be settled, otherwise each time you move into a different space, it will come and will block the whole thing. [Osho checked his energy and said recommended the same exercise that he had given at darshan on July lOth, in which hot and cold water were used in rapid succession.... ] If you can take a sauna, that will be good... anything that makes the body hot and perspiring, and then a sudden change to cold, so that first the pores become porous, open, relaxed, and then they suddenly freeze. That gives the spine a totally new life. That's why after a sauna, one feels so alive so full of energy. It has nothing to do with anything else but the spine. The spine is the base of life. At least to exist in the body, the spine is the most important part. On one end of the spine is sex energy, on another end of the spine is the mind. In fact man is nothing but spine. When sex energy starts moving towards the sahasrar, the seventh centre, then for the first time one becomes aware of whether the spine is in a natural shape or not. Otherwise nobody is aware. And it is not only with you; it has to be so with almost all Westerners. They are not aware of it because there is no question of awareness. When they start working on energy and when that energy moves and the spine is not found to be straight, then suddenly there is trouble. In the East, people became aware of it, so people have been sitting on the ground with a straight spine. That became part of all Yoga systems: that the spine should be straight whatsoever you are doing. That became just a common routine for the eastern humanity. People who are not even concerned in any way with Yoga, will try to sit with the spine erect because any day that you become interested in any energy transformation, then the problem will arise. So just do this. And continue it for three months. ... Everything is going well, and much is to happen. You cannot even imagine what is going to happen, so just remain expectant, alert, because nobody knows when the guest comes and knocks at the door. So be watchful!
[A sannyasin says: I'm leaving Poona and leaving you, but I don't feel that I'm leaving you.... Everybody says, 'You're leaving,' but I feel that just the body's leaving] You are right and the others are wrong. Now there is no way of leaving me. Wherever you go, you go in me. And whatsoever you do, you do in me. So be aware; the responsibility is bigger now. [A sannyasin said that he had left the Encounter group after the fifth day as he felt much fear and that he was blocked. Osho reassured him that it was alright for him to have left if he felt he had to, saying that he should now do the camp as totally as possible. The sannyasin said he did not feel like it.... ] It is not a question of your liking or disliking. But if you don't feel like doing anything and you want to remain the same, then settle as you are and forget about changing yourself. If you listen to your liking, you are listening to your old mind. One has to do some things against one's liking and then one grows; otherwise nobody ever grows. Growth is not so smooth as people think. It is painful... and the greatest pain comes when you have to move against your liking. Who is this that goes on saying 'This I like and this I don't like'? This is your old mind, not you. If it is allowed, there is no way to change. The mind will say to stay in the old rut because it likes that. So one has to come out of it. Sometimes one has to be against likings, dislikings. You have to decide about it. If you feel that you have always to move according to your liking, then move; there is no problem in it. Nobody is forcing you to do something against your liking. But then don't raise any problems. Simply relax and move. Or if you want to change, if you feel that something is wrong somewhere in the way you are, if you feel that the way you are creates misery, the way you are does not allow you to be totally happy, then something has to be done. And whenever one changes any way, any old style, it is painful, it hurts. It is like learning a new skill. You know the old very well, so everything goes easily. When you learn a new skill, it is difficult. And this is not only a new skill. It is learning a new being. It is going to be hard. The old has to die for the new to be born. The old has to go for the new to come. If you go on clinging to the old, there is nowhere for the new to come in. So if you like your likings very much and you are perfectly happy, then I will not create any trouble for you. Just feel your own way and whatsoever you feel like doing, do. But if you decide that things are not as they should be and you would like to change them, do meditations and book for the Soma group, mm? Good! [The Enlightenment Intensive group are present. A group member said that during the Kundalini meditation he had fallen down and cried: And then I went for a walk and everything I saw was just absolutely perfect... just absolutely beautiful.]
It is perfect. It has been perfect from the very beginning. It has never been otherwise. It is just that we don't have the eyes. Sometimes when the eyes open, you suddenly realise the perfection. Everything is perfect. Good! [A group member says he feels scared, and... so grubby and dirty.] Mm mm, you must have been taught great ideals in your childhood [a chuckle]. Whenever people are taught great ideals, they start feeling dirty and guilty and this and that. Because those ideals are foolish and impossible; nobody can fulfill them. So whatsoever you do, you always fall short, you are always a failure because the ideal is impossible. It is inhuman. They call it super-human. It is inhuman. But it becomes a torture, a self-torture, and then whatsoever you do is wrong. That's what is creating the trouble for you. You are dirty because of ideals. So drop the ideals and just be. I don't see any dirt anywhere in you. I see a beautiful human being. There is nothing wrong. It is just that you have an idea that things should be like this and like that and they are not, because they cannot be. So drop those ideals. Become a realist. Once you become a realist, everything seems to be just beautiful and perfect. When you don't have any ideal of perfection, everything is perfect because there is nothing with which to compare it and condemn it. When you have an ideal, everything is imperfect; you have something to compare. And that ideal is like an horizon; you never reach it. The closer you move to the horizon, the farther away the horizon goes. An horizon is not a reality. It is just illusory an illusion that somewhere the earth meets the sky. They never meet anywhere. The horizon is just a mirage. It appears, but it is not, so when you go towards it, it goes on moving farther away. All ideals are mirages, so drop them and be a realist. Listen to the facts. This world is the only world. And the way you are is the only way you can be, so enjoy it. Don't waste time. Accept yourself. This is the way God has chosen you to be, or the way God has chosen to be in you. Now there is no going back. There is no possibility to drop yourself. Accept and float with reality. And I don't see any dirt. I don't see anything to condemn. But for centuries the mind has been conditioned to condemn. That's a great strategy in the hands of the politician and the priests: create guilt inside you and then they can manipulate you. To manipulate a human being is the worst crime one can commit. I don't see that there is any problem, because I don't want to manipulate you. If I create a guilt, I manipulate you; manipulators always create guilt. It is up to you to be alert and not to be manipulated by people. Hiding behind your ideals are the priests and the politicians. Once you drop the ideals, you will see all the politicians and priests dead, and you will be completely free and liberated. [A group member said: I felt like I was half being born. There were contractions, but I wasn't coming out.
I always feel that I'm trying too hard... that I'm out there trying when I should be (motioning in towards herself)... ] No, you try a little more; because if you don't try, things won't happen to you. There are two types of persons: one type to whom things happen only with effort, and one to whom things happen effortlessly. If the first type tries effortlessness, he will be a failure. If the second type tries effort, he will be a failure. You are a yoga type. Effort is just a natural element to you. Zen or Tao won't suit you. You have a tremendous willpower and you can do much. So don't be worried. There are many people here of the second type and they may create trouble for you. Don't listen to anybody. It is a question of your own understanding about yourself. You will come out of it; doing, you will come out of it, but first you will have to go headlong into it to the very extreme. You will fall out of it but that will happen only when you have reached to the very extreme of effort. When you have done that, when you have done all that can be done and nothing is left you are exhausted, spent you will fall and then effortlessness will start. But right now if you start from the middle, you will be stuck. That's what the significance is of your feeling that you are being half born. You are in the middle. Now if you stop effort, you will be neither in the womb nor in the world. You will be just hanging midway. half and half. You have come halfway through your effort. Now make a little more effort. You are not going to lose anything by it, but you are going to gain everything. [Osho asked her how she had found Encounter group. She said that she had become engaged in a battle of ego with the groupleader.] [chuckling] You are an egoist. All people who have wills have egos, so hard effort is going to be needed to burn it. There is no other way. So in the camp, make every effort possible... wild and mad, not less than that ! [A sannyasin says: there has been a woman in my life for the first time... I'm not in love it's too strange an experience for me to feel anything I've not experienced before.... ] Whatsoever it is, allow it to happen. This paradox is something very natural. Whenever there is a question of choosing, when half of your being says 'Do this' and half of your being says 'Do that', then paradox arises and man becomes ambiguous. Ordinarily this split never comes to a focusing, but whenever there is a real choice for example to be alone or to be with a woman then there is a real problem. And you cannot do both. To be with a woman, it is impossible to be alone. One woman is enough of a crowd. If you want to be alone, it is impossible to make any approach towards a woman, so the problem comes to a very critical edge and one has to decide. But I would like you to love with the woman and to try to be alone. It is difficult that's why it looks paradoxical but it is possible. It is very difficult to be alone with a woman, but to be alone and to be alone is meaningless. You can be alone when you are alone, but it is meaningless; the contrast is not there. The figure is there but the field is not.
To be alone and with a woman is paradoxical, but if you can make it possible, it will give you such a sharpness of aloneness that nothing else can give. So on the one hand I say it is very difficult to be alone with a woman, and on the other hand I say that if you can be alone with a woman, only then you have aloneness. Otherwise it will be loneliness, not aloneness. Life exists through paradox, so whenever there is a paradox, don't try to avoid it. It is very much simpler to choose one and to avoid the other, but then you are denying something of your being. That denied part will take revenge. Sooner or later it will overpower you. That denied part becomes very powerful. Then you will be pulled towards a woman and you will not be alone. You will be completely overpowered by her because the denied part will take revenge. And again you will wish to be alone because nobody likes to be overpowered. It is a sort of slavery, a bondage, a commitment. One wants to escape from it. This is the whole problem of man love and freedom. These two words 'love' and 'freedom' are the most important words in the human language. That man is the greatest man who has become efficient in managing both together. He's almost superhuman. He has arrived. He does not lose his love because of freedom and he does not lose his freedom because of love. He lives free in love. He lives in freedom and loving. In fact that is the goal and the destiny. That is what maturity is. It is very easy to choose one to choose love and drop freedom but then you will always be haunted by freedom and it will destroy your love. Love will look as if it is against freedom, inimical to freedom, antagonistic to freedom. How can man leave freedom? It cannot be left even for love. By and by you will become fed up with love and you will start moving to the other extreme. One day you will leave love and rush towards freedom. But just to be free and without loving, how can a man live? Love is such a big need. To be loved and to love is almost spiritual breathing. The body cannot live without breath and the spirit cannot live without love. One day you become bored with your freedom because what to do with it? Of course you are free, but what to do with freedom? There is no love so nothing flowers. This way one moves like a pendulum swings from freedom to love, from love to freedom. This way the wheel can continue for many lives. This is how it has continued. We call it the wheel of life. It goes on rotating: the same spokes coming up, going down. A man attains liberation when he comes to attain a synthesis between love and freedom. So I will say don't be afraid. Nobody can take your freedom if you are really free. And if you are not really free, anybody is going to take it. It is only a matter of who takes it this woman or that; it doesn't matter. If you are not free, your freedom is going to be taken. But remember: only that which you don't have can be taken. Hence the paradox. That which you have can never be taken. How can it be taken? If I am free, I am free. How can it be taken from me? Freedom is something intrinsic to me. It is not something that I have. It is something that I am. I am freedom, not that I possess freedom. Nobody can take it. I exist as freedom. Then you can love and you can play many games of love... even of bondage. You can play many games of hide and seek. You can even play the act of being a prisoner and still you know that you
are free. How can your freedom be taken? Who can take it? If you don't have it, then you are afraid. But then what is the point of being afraid? Somebody is going to take it. You don't have it. So don't choose one, choose both; choose together. Move in love and remain free. Remain free but never make your freedom anti-love, otherwise you will remain mediocre. That's what has happened to all mediocres. There are two types of mediocres in the world. One has chosen love and dropped freedom the ordinary, worldly man. Then there is another type of mediocre, the monk, who has dropped love and chosen freedom. But both are half, both are lopsided. Both are in deep trouble and turmoil and inner conflict because half of their being is starved, half of their being has become almost dead. And how can you live with a being half alive and half dead? It is worse than death. It is better to die once and for all than to die piecemeal. So choose the paradox. Don't choose the alternatives that the paradox has given to you. Choose the whole paradox. Say, 'I will remain free and I will love.' It will be hard, it is going to be arduous all growth is. It is an uphill task, and the higher you move, the greater challenges are going to face you. But that's what it means to be a man... a continuous acceptance of challenges, new challenges, because each new challenge brings a new breeze into your being, a new space to expand, to explode, to explore. Choose both together and go on reporting to me how things are going, mm? [A group member said she felt unhappy: I can't find anything in me that is strong, no willpower or anything that I can find.] No, nothing is wrong in it. You are not the will type. You are just against her type [indicating the earlier sannyasin]. She is your enemy! [laughter] There is nothing to worry about. You are not a will type. Surrender is your way. You don't have any will. There is no need. You don't need any effort. You can reach without effort. And sadness came because for the first time you became aware about this willlessness. You thought, 'Now I am nobody. I have no will.' You started feeling as if you are impotent, as if you have no power, and you are nobody. So because of your ideas, you created problems. This was a deep penetration into your nothingness. If you had known, you would have become so delighted. She has a bigger problem than you [chuckling and indicating the earlier sannyasin again] because she will have to work hard and then she will come to the same point. She will have to pass through much effort and you can simply move, float, because the will is not there. Will can become a great hindrance. So don't be worried about it. Sadness is your interpretation. You have penetrated a very deep layer of nothingness so you are not feeling who you are, where you are, where you belong. You have touched such a strange space and that is your reality. So delight in your having touched such a deep space within you. But that deep space is always empty and to reach that is the whole effort of all meditation.
This group has been really meaningful to you but you are feeling sad because you have a certain interpretation. Your interpretation is wrong. Drop it and you will feel so blissful. You have no problem. Will is not there, so you don't have any problem. When the wi!l is not there, you don't have any ego. Now don't suffer unnecessarily. It is as if a man goes to the doctor and he thinks he has many big diseases and he has learned great names. The doctor examines him and he says, 'No, this disease is not there, that disease is not there.' And the man becomes sad because there are no diseases. 'So I am without disease? So this doctor is destroying all my topics of conversation? Now what will I talk about?' But the doctor is simply saying that you are not ill. But if you are thinking about illness too much, you will feel a little sad, as if something has been taken away from you. In fact he is saying that you are perfectly healthy when he is saying that you don't have any illness. If you don't have any will, you are perfectly healthy. Will is one of the greatest diseases. So delight! Do this camp without will. Just enjoy. With no effort, dance, sing, sit silently. For this whole camp simply move will-less, egoless, and then tell me how much bliss arises. And drop your interpretations, mm? You are already happy! Good!