Hammer on the Rock Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

10 January 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[A sannyasin says: I'm isolating myself ­ and I feel I should be doing something else. At first I felt good alone, but now it's changed.] Then move out of it! One should always be watchful, because if one is not feeling happy in any situation, in any mood, then one should come out of it. Otherwise that becomes your habit, and by and by you lose sensitivity. You will go on being miserable and living in it, which simply shows a very deep insensitivity. There is no need! If you are not feeling good in isolation, then come out of it. Meet with people, enjoy company, talk and laugh ­ but when you feel you are fed up with it, move into isolation again. Always remember to judge everything by your inner feeling of bliss. If you are feeling blissful, everything is alright. If you are not feeling blissful, then whatsoever you are doing ­ something somewhere is wrong. The longer you remain in it, the more it becomes just an unaware thing, and you completely forget that it is through your cooperation that the miserable feeling continues. It needs your cooperation; it cannot exist itself. Human growth requires that one moves from one polarity to another. Sometimes being alone is perfectly good: one needs one's own space, one needs to forget the whole world, and to be oneself. The other is absent so you have no boundary to yourself ­ the other creates your boundary, otherwise you are infinite. Living with people, moving in the world, in society, by and by one begins to feel confined, limited, as if there are walls all around. It becomes a subtle imprisonment, and one needs to move. One needs sometimes to be perfectly alone so that all boundaries disappear ­ as if the other does not exist at

all, and the whole universe and the whole sky exists only for you. In that moment of aloneness one realises for the first time what infinity is. But then if you live in it too much, by and by the the infinity bores you, it becomes tasteless. There is purity and silence ­ but there is no ecstasy in it. Ecstasy always comes through the other. One then starts feeling hungry for love, and wants to escape from this aloneness, this vast expanse of space. One wants a cosy place surrounded by others, so that one can forget oneself. This is the basic polarity of life ­ love and meditation. People who try to live by love alone, by and by become very limited. They lose infinity and purity, and they become superficial. Always living in relationships means always living on the boundary where you can meet the other. So you are always standing at the gate, and you can never move into your palace, because only at the gate is the meeting-point where the other passes by. So people who only live in love, by and by become superficial. Their life loses depth. And people who live only in meditation will become very deep, but their life loses colour, loses the ecstatic dance, the orgasmic quality of being. In the East people have tried to live by meditation alone, and they have become very very bored. Now in the West they are trying the other polarity: just trying to live by love. Life has become very superficial; just boundaries meeting, centres have completely disappeared. Real humanity, the humanity of the future, will live by both the polarities together, and that's my whole effort. That's what I mean by sannyas ­ to live by both the polarities together: love and meditation. One should be free to move from one to another, neither polarity becoming a confinement. You should not be afraid of the marketplace, nor too much afraid of the monastery. You should be free to move from the marketplace to the monastery, and from the monastery to the marketplace. This freedom, this flexibility of movement. I call sannyas. The bigger the swing, the richer your life. There are attractions to remain with just one of the polarities because then life is more simple. If you just remain with people, in the crowd, it is simple. Complexity comes with the contradictory, the opposite pole. If you become a monk or you go to the Himalayas and just live there, life is very simple. But a simple life which has no complexity in it loses much richness. Life should be both complex and simple. One has to seek this harmony continuously, otherwise life becomes of one note, a single note. You can go on repeating it, but no orchestra can be created out of it. So whenever you feel that something is now becoming troublesome, immediately move before you become unaware. Never make anywhere your home ­ neither relationships nor aloneness. Remain flowing and homeless, and don't abide at any polarity. Enjoy it, delight in it, but when it is finished move to the other ­ make it a rhythm. You work in the day, by night you rest, so that again by the next day you are ready to work, energy regained. Just think of a man who goes on working all day and all night, or who goes on sleeping day and night ­ what kind of a life will that be? One will be a madness, the other a coma. Between the two there is a balance, a harmony. Work hard so that you can relax. Relax deeply so that you become capable of working, of being more creative.

[Osho asked the Hypnotherapy groupleader how the group had been. The groupleader replied: Well I'm never really content, but I'm happy.] That's good! Leaders should never be content, but should always be happy! If you become content you cannot help people, because only discontent brings creativity. Everybody is such an infinite possibility that at the most we touch only the boundary. Whatsoever is done is never satisfactory, because more was always possible. If you are not happy yourself, if you are in the same plight as others, you cannot help them; so you cannot become a leader if you are happy and contented. In Buddhism there are two schools, one of which is mahayana, which means the great vehicle. The other school is hinayana, the small vehicle; a small boat that only one person can sit in. The school of the small vehicle used to say that it is not possible to help anybody, because the moment you become happy, you become contented ­ then who bothers? The Hinayanists have remained absolutely barren, because no creativity is possible ­ the moment you have achieved, it is the end! Your boat is ready and you go. Mahayanists say that the vehicle is a big ship, and that one person can take many with him. But they say that before you become happy, you must have sown seeds of compassion; because if happiness comes before compassion then you will become contented. Compassion means discontent about others. Happiness means to be so contented with yourself that you can help others. Buddha used to say to his disciples before each meditation, that whatsoever they achieved, they had to give to the people, offer to the world, and that the fruit of meditation should not become personal. Once you achieve it, you should distribute it immediately. Then you remain happy, tremendously happy, and at the same time tremendously discontent. That's the beautiful rhythm. One of the most beautiful things is to be happy and discontent together. Otherwise a person who is happy becomes uncreative. and a person who is unhappy can create, but his creation is going to be like a catharsis, a diseased creation. He can only throw his disease and illness into his creativity, but that is not going to help; rather it will hinder. So go on finding more ways to help people. And infinite possibilities are there. Each human being is just an opening of a space with no end. There comes no point where you can say that now the work is finished. The work of compassion is never finished. [A visitor who was leaving asked Osho if there was anything he could say to help her in her meditation.] Make it a regular habit. Just as one brushes the teeth and takes a bath, meditation should become just a part of your daily life; not something special and religious, but just ordinary. Once something is regarded as religious one starts feeling burdened. If sometimes you miss meditation, it is nothing to worry about; but if one meditation can be started, after three months you will start reaping tremendous experiences. It takes at least three months for something to settle in your being so that you start welling up from it. It is just like a seed: it takes

time to lose itself in the earth, and then it sprouts. So for a few weeks meditation brings no results; it simply sinks in, mm? One should not look for results but simply enjoy it. After three months you suddenly become aware that something is sprouting which you have never known in you. A new facet of your being, something, starts flowering ­ you can almost touch it. And not only you will become aware, but others will notice, without you saying, that you have changed, that something has happened to you. [A sannyasin says: I'm feeling that I'm very false sometimes... and I also have this polarity between being alone, and not knowing whether I'm lonely or trying to seek aloneness. Au these are mixed together.] Start doing one thing, and that is ­ don't try to change it. Be consciously false, exaggerate it.... [Osho went on to say that unconsciousness is the only problem in rife, and that all other problems are just by-products of being unconscious. He said that consciousness is the only transformation, the only revolution, and that nothing else is needed.] About your loneliness and aloneness: it is always very difficult to see the distinction because it is very subtle, but you can feel it. There are a few things. Firstly: if you are alone, a tremendous happiness is around you. If you are lonely, you are miserable, because loneliness means that you are missing the other. Aloneness means you are enjoying yourself, so it has a glow to it. Just being oneself is a tremendous delight. But when you are lonely you are depressed. Deep down you are still seeking and thinking of the other ­ friends, society, the club; somewhere to go, somewhere to get lost, be absorbed, so that you can forget yourself. The taste is different. Loneliness is low energy, while aloneness is overflowing energy. Loneliness is something that you never want, it is as if you are a victim; but aloneness is something that you have desired, longed for ­ and now it is there. It is a deep achievement. Through it one can grow, but through loneliness one falls. Through loneliness one starts seeking others and uses them. Through aloneness, if it happens that others are around one shares, but never uses them. But these distinctions will come by and by.... First you have to watch whether you are feeling miserable or blissful. If it is misery, it is loneliness, so throw it If it is aloneness, then close all the doors of the room and enjoy it. Dance, dance it! Let it be a profound experience of ecstasy. Or just sit silently as if you are the king of the whole world. Aloneness has to be cherished and nourished, and loneliness has to be avoided because it is like a disease, like a worm that goes on eating you from within. [The sannyasin says: That's the problem. If you are in loneliness you will create a circle around you that is hard to come out of, because all the things you are doing are in some way neurotic ­ because you are seeking something ­ and so you go into people narrow-minded.] Mm mm, I understand. Ordinarily when people feel lonely they seek company; but that's not right, it is not going to help.

When you are lonely seek nature, not company. Go to the tree and talk to it. Go to the rock, touch it, feel it. Go for a long walk and feel your body against the wind. Do something with nature, because it is not company in the same sense that human beings are. In nature the company is there, but you are still alone ­ that's the difference. Nature simply gives you silent company ­ unobtrusive, non-interfering; it doesn't force anything on you. Go to nature, and suddenly you will feel your loneliness changing into aloneness. When you are alone, don't even go to nature, go into yourself. Try this, mm? Good! [A sannyasin says: The group was a very good experience for me, but I feel it can't help me completely. While I was in the group I was helped but I don't believe that it can help me all my life.] No, this group will be helpful, but no group can become your life. A group is just an insight. It helps to give you an insight about yourself, shows you certain possibilities about yourself. It opens a window. It is not a pilgrimage. It just opens a window and shows you a path. Then you have to follow the path ­ only then you reach the goal. So whatever glimpse you have attained from the group was for the time being, and can never become permanent. It is like a seed. Let it sink into you. You can work it, help it to grow, and protect it. The world is against all inner insights, so protect it against the world. Let it become a little stronger so that it can protect itself. Then by and by it will change your whole life-style. You will need a few more groups so that the same insight comes from different paths; so again and again a window opens, and you can see the path. It is just like lightning on a dark night. You are lost and the night is dark; there seems to be no possibility of any morning. This is how the human situation is. Then suddenly there is thunder and lightning and everything becomes clear ­ just for a moment. In that moment darkness disappears. You can see the path ahead? you can even see the temples far away, but then it is gone. Again there is darkness, and it is darker than before, but now you know that the path exists, that there is a goal. Now it may be difficult to reach, but iS is not a hopeless quest. Now if you fail, it is your responsibility. Before, you could have said that there was no goal, nowhere to go, but now there is a responsibility. Deep down you know that if you seek and search, you will find it there somewhere. So all groups are just like lightning in your confused state of mind. Don't expect more than that ­ and even that is too much! Don't expect that they will change you completely, because nothing can change you except yourself. But they can show the way, give you a glimpse, so that one feels confident and goes on moving, searching. When you are thirsty, a group can simply show that water exists. It cannot give you water, but it shows you that it exists, so you know that to quench the thirst is not just a mad quest, something impossible. It is there waiting; one just has to make a little effort. So you do a few other groups, mm?

[Another sannyasin says: I felt split by the group... I decided to commit myself, and to do all the structures as well as I could. Every time there's a structure I feel like I'm in a prison... What happened in meditation was a freedom, I felt free. Here I felt I'd suppressed myself. Now I feel split.] It happens to people because they don't understand the nature of freedom. A free person is one who, if he wills, can remain at ease in a prison; if he wants, can accept any discipline. Only prisoners are afraid of structure, and slaves are afraid of discipline. A free person is never afraid of anything. As I see it,, you have always remained structured, and you have become afraid of it, mm? If somebody brings alcohol near a person who is an addict, the person will at first become afraid of it, because if alcohol is there it is dangerous for him. But for one who is not an addict, there is no problem. It is your fear, a fear of freedom. Your fear that you know you can cling to a structure has created the split. Try it next time in some other group, because it is only for three or four days, mm? You accept out of your freedom, nobody is forcing you. Freedom is not licence, and does not mean no structure. It simply means flexibility, that one can move from one structure to another easily ­ from no-structure to structure, from structure to nostructure. If your freedom is afraid of being in a structure, then it is not freedom at all. Just try to understand this, and the split will disappear. It is not there in your being, but just in your mind, just an idea. Drop the idea and enjoy freedom, and sometimes discipline. Discipline has its own beauty, it is not all slavery. And freedom has its own dangers and is not all beautiful. A real person is always capable of infinite discipline and infinite freedom ­ he is not a slave or an addict to anything.

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