Believing the Impossible Before Breakfast Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

4 February 1978 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Anand means bliss and citta means mind ­ bliss mind. In English you don't have many words for the mind but in Sanskrit we have many words for the mind to denote different qualities. The only way to translate citta is. mind with a capital 'M'. It is not ordinary mind, it is the cosmic Mind. Mind with a lower case 'm' is the ordinary mind; Mind with a capital 'M' is the cosmic Mind. It is neither yours nor mine, it is everybody's Mind: not only of human beings but of trees, animals, birds, and rocks and stars. There is a Mind that supports all, there is a Mind that is the very substance of the whole of existence. This existence is made of citta stuff, mind stuff. This is one of the greatest declarations of all the mystics of the world: that matter is non-existent, matter is only appearance; mind is the reality behind all. Citta means the cosmic Mind, the Mind of the whole. You can call it god; that's exactly what god means: the Mind of the whole. Existence is not mind-less; it has a consciousness which is more primary than other appearances. That consciousness is bliss; to attain to that consciousness is to become blissful. With the lower case mind there is misery because the lower case mind means I, me, and that brings misery. Me is misery, I is the root cause of all troubles and anxieties, I is the fundamental neurosis. Once your lower case mind disappears into the capital Mind, all miseries dissolve. Then there is not conflict between you and existence, there is cooperation. You don't struggle, you flow with it. Then there is no point in going against the current. You go with the current, and in that very going in that very let-go is bliss. Bliss is the function of surrender, and that is the meaning of your name. Bliss is possible, just dissolve the lower mind into the bigger mind, dissolve the individual into the whole, dissolve the drop into the ocean. Don't exist like an I; exist as god. Don't exist separate, like an island. Don't demarcate yourself, drop the boundaries. That is the essential meaning of sannyas: dropping of the

boundaries so that you are not a German or a Japanese, neither a Hindu nor a Christian, neither black nor white, not even man or woman. Go on dissolving all boundaries, then what is left? That is cosmic Mind. There is pure consciousness, undefined, undefinable. It has no adjective to it. It is vast, it contains all, and in that vastness is joy. To be narrow is to suffer; to be vast is to celebrate. Sadashiva. It means eternal god, one who abides. Everything else changes: life is a flux, nothing remains the same, not even for two consecutive moments. The world is in a constant flux, it is riverlike, it flows, but behind all this flow, change, flux, there must be a thread running that keeps it together. Change is not possible without something remaining absolutely unchanging. Change can exist only in a non-changing element, otherwise things will fall apart. Life is like a garland: you don't see the thread that runs through the flowers but it is there, holding it together. If the thread is not there the flowers will fall apart; there will be a heap of flowers but not a garland. And existence is not a heap, it is a very well-knit pattern. Things are changing but there is some unchanging element that keeps a cosmic law behind it all. That cosmic law is called sadashiva, the eternal god, timeless god, the non-changing god. And that is the work for a meditator ­ to find the thread. There are only two types of people: one gets too enchanted by the flowers and forgets the thread. He lives a life which cannot have any lasting value or any lasting significance, because whatsoever he does will vanish. Today he will make it, tomorrow it will be gone. It will be making castles of sand or launching boats of paper. The second type of man searches for the thread and devotes his whole life to that which abides, which always abides; he is never a loser. Sannyas is a door to the eternal thread. It is a great adventure beyond time, beyond space; and that beyond exists within you. You just need to search for it and it is there. There is the body which goes on changing, the mind which goes on changing, but behind this body and mind there is a centre in your being which always remains the same; it never grows, it never ages. When you were a child it was the same, now you are a young man it is the same, when you are old it will be the same; it is never young, never old. When you were born it was there, when you die it will be there. To find it is to go beyond life and death. Then there is no fear. Prem Rohita (rising sun of love). Meditate over it, contemplate, and think of yourself as a rising sun of love. Because whatever we think, we become: thoughts tend to become things. If you think of love you become love, because whatsoever you think starts taking roots in you; each thought is a seed of great potential. So from this moment let there be a rising sun in your heart. This sannyas colour of orange is the colour of the rising sun, so from the outside and the inside become orange. And love is the chemistry that transforms. It is love that prepares one for god, and once you are ready, god's coming is absolutely certain. Prayers fail because those who pray are not ready. A prayer is futile unless we are ready to receive god, and it is only love that makes you a shrine, a temple. Deva means god, svadha means offering ­ an offering to god. And from this moment, think of yourself as offered to god. You no more belong to yourself, you have no claim upon yourself; let god

claim you. And that's what you have been waiting for your whole life: to be claimed by god, to be claimed by something bigger than you. Life remains a discontentment unless something bigger than you claims you; unless you become a part of something vast, you go on missing meaning. Meaning comes only in the context of something bigger than you. Alone, life is meaningless. Meaning is in love, and there is great meaning when you are in love with god. Even ordinary love gives meaning to life, significance to life, but when one falls in love with god there is infinite splendour. Each sannyasin has to think of himself as an offering. Drop your self, disappear as your self. Let god possess you. Then everything is beautiful, nothing is mundane; everything becomes sacred. Nothing is profane; everything becomes holy. Small things of life are luminous. One continues to live the same way but the world is no more the same because you are no more the same. You live in the world but the world is no more in you. That is the meaning of svadha. You have come in the right moment, you have come exactly when it was needed. Something great is on the way: prepare yourself for it, prepare for the great transformation. It is just around the corner: it can happen at any moment. [A sannyasin who is leaving says that she is feeling apprehensive about returning to the west because of recurrent fear she experiences when she is there. It is a fear that has been with her for some years and which wakes her once or twice each night... she does not experience fear while in Poona. Osho checks her energy.] It is nothing to be afraid of. It is something in you, not outside you. The feeling may be coming as if it is hovering around you but it is something deep inside you. Something from your unconscious wants to cathart, something very traumatic that has happened in your childhood. It is trying to get out of you. Only a part of it comes out; that part is felt to be hovering around you. It is your own energy, but only part comes out and the other part remains deep-rooted within you. Then you are frightened and you awake, and because you awake the part again resettles in you. So there are a few things to be understood and one or two things to be done. First, it has nothing to do with the outside, so you need not be worried. It is not some evil presence outside you, some dark force outside you; no, it is something dark inside you which wants to leave you. And it is good: if it leaves you will feel very very unburdened. When you wake up in the night, tonight or any time tomorrow, just put your hands on your navel and exhale deeply to throw it out. Exhale as deeply as you can. Just put your hands on the navel, because it is rooted there, and exhale deeply. When you have exhaled totally, stop it there; don't inhale immediately, stop it for as long as you can ­ one minute, two minutes, three minutes. It can be done up to three minutes very easily. Within three or four days it will be gone and you will be sleeping perfectly well. You whole energy will have a change, a qualitative change.

It is something good that wants to happen to you and you are preventing it; by getting frightened you swallow it again. It has to be vomited, and exhalation will be of immense help. [The healing group was present. It was the first time the therapist had led a group in the ashram. He said that much catharsis came up, which he does not usually work with. He asked if he should learn more about it first.] Don't be worried; just continue, no need to learn. Improvise, just respond. Whatsoever happens and whatsoever can happen with you, just go with it. Rather than learning about it, respond to it, and that will be a better way to learn. Otherwise again a structure will come. All learning brings structure. Learning is meant to create structure. So remain innocent and grope, and if things went well this time, they will go even better the next time. Go innocently. After three or four groups you will be perfectly in tune, and that will be unstructured. Perfectly good, don't be worried. Things happened well.

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