12 December 1975 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 11TH: [The birthday of Osho Shree. A mass darshan for thousands of seekers from India and abroad... ] FRIDAY, DECEMBER 12TH: [Members from the Enlightenment Intensive group were present] [To a sannyasin who had just learnt that her father died] ... how are you feeling? Your father had been ill at all? [She answers: No, but he was seventy-three. He lived a full life, so I don't feel sad. And I feel it was good he died on your birthday] Yes, that was good.... Death should never be a cause to be sad. If one has lived, and lived well, loved, and loved well, then there is no cause to be sad about it. A death can be as beautiful as life can be beautiful. All lives are not beautiful and all deaths are not ugly. And the death depends basically on the life. It is the culmination, the crescendo, the total life in a sense. But that is not the point. When somebody dies, you don't cry and weep for him you cry and weep for yourself. Every death reminds you of you own death. And in every death a part of you dies and particularly the death of a father, a mother, a wife, a husband, a friend someone with whom you have been closely related, with whom you have been involved.
When they disappear, something within you disappears an emptiness is left. That emptiness has to be lived. So if you feel like crying, cry; if you feel like weeping, weep. Don't suppress it in any way, and don't avoid it in any way, mm? Don't rationalise, because we always rationalise. If you rationalise and you avoid the fact, then something like a wound will remain with you. So cry and weep and let tears come. And if you want to, talk to your father; say the things you always wanted to say and couldn't. Be a small child and allow the emotion to possess you. This is one of the problems for the modern mind. We rationalise everything, and by rationalising we suppress things. And that can be very dangerous because it poisons the whole system. That's why I called you. You just close your eyes... and let death happen.... [Osho shone his torch in the direction of her third eye] ... And tonight, before you go to sleep, just sit on the bed and allow it. It will be coming; it is there. Allow it to take possession it has to be lived. If you cannot live it right now, then later on it will become a problem it will always be there. This is how we go on accumulating unlived experiences. Each moment has to be lived so totally that you are finished with it. It may be love, it may be death, it may be anything else but live it totally, mm? And don't be wise about it. Don't let the head have its say; rather, listen to the heart. This night, curl up in bed, cry and weep, and don't let the head interfere. And by the morning you will be so fresh. You will have learnt something from death. This is a precious moment when the father or the mother dies. It is a sacred moment and you can be enriched through it. You can attain much through it; it can become a great insight. So don't waste it, mm? This night you try. (softly) And I am going to help.... Good, Champa. [A group member who has done the meditation camp and by several groups, says '... it was too much to think about. I can't analyse it.] No, there is no need for analysis. That's why I wanted you to go so fast so there is no gap for thinking to come in. Analysis is not needed; it is not going to help, Analysis is a way to avoid life then you don't live it, you think about it. You think you love a woman, but you don't love her you think about loving her. You think that you love her and the whole thing becomes false. You can deceive others, but you will be wasting your energy. Analysis is a disease of the mind; it will give you false ideas. If you analyse love, you will reduce it to something ridiculous. If you analyse life, then you will have chemicals and nothing else. If you analyse a beautiful flower, the beauty will disappear and only matter will be left in the hand. All that is true, all that is beautiful, all that is good, escapes analysis. That's why Freud goes on analysing. He starts thinking about love and only sex is left love disappears. Analyse a poem and prose will be left, because there are things which simply escape analysis. So don't do that. That's why I wanted you to do one thing after another so fast that there would be no interval and you couldn't think. That's why you are feeling great. (a chuckle) Feel great and don't try to analyse it
Good, it has been good! [A group member said he had a wonderful and exhilarating feeling during the group] You look as if it has been very good. You still carry the climate of it. I received your letter... very good. Much more is possible now. And always remember, the journey starts but it never ends. Deeper and deeper satoris will be happening. And never think that this is the end, because deeper is always possible if you are waiting for it. Only that happens for which you wait. If you are not waiting for it then it will not happen, because you are not looking for it. And this is the point to be understood at this moment: don't desire, but wait. If you desire it will not happen, because the desiring mind is so excited, so tense, and so intrigued, it is already in the future. So don't desire just wait as if something is going to happen. You don't know what it is nobody knows. It has been a misfortune that people have given names to it God, Enlightenment, Nirvana, Satori it has been a misfortune. Simply wait with no idea and doors beyond doors open. This has been very good. [The group member adds: ... the feeling of being alone was such a delicious one I felt that I almost wanted to accentuate it like going away for a short time to be alone. But I think I would rather stay here.] No, you wait. Right now to go away won't be helpful. There are right moments to be alone. Otherwise one can fall back into the old habits of the mind. Rather, you start feeling alone here and now. Even with so many people around you, start feeling alone. Aloneness has nothing to do with crowd or no crowd; it is a quality. You can be alone in the crowd, and you can be in the crowd when you are alone. So it has nothing to do with loneliness. Aloneness is just an attitude. So first try to be alone here. If you succeed in it and you will succeed, there is no problem about it then you can go in a retreat for a few days. If you can be alone here, you will be alone there. If it is difficult here, it will be more difficult there because when we are in the society, with people, we are in our element. It is natural to be that way. The fish is in the sea, and when it is thrown out of the sea, on the bank, in the sand, it is out of its element and there is going to be much trouble. So first learn to be alone in the natural environment of the society, and then go. Then in a lonely retreat much is possible. But my emphasis is always that one should learn to be alone in society. In India we have experimented, and the experiment failed tremendously. We helped many people in the past to go into lonely retreats. Then they became afraid of coming back. They became so habituated to it that rather than becoming masters of themselves, they became slaves. So they renounced the world. India suffered much because of this. The great minds were the first ones to renounce those who could have been an Einstein, a Bertrand Russell, or a Freud, escaped immediately. That door was always open. And those who escaped didn't become masters because mastery needs the opposite. They became, in a way, poor.
Once you know the convenience and comfort of being lonely and secluded, out of the society, the mind tends to remain in it. It is not like life, it is more like vegetating. So, as you are doing so well now, don't disturb it. Just continue here and leave it to me. If I feel that you have earned it I will send you.... And everything is good. [A group member says: I'm worried about going home. I'm worrying whether I could have been the right one to work in the ministry. I'm starting to like it here.... ] I am sending you back... I am sending you back because something is going to happen there. Something has happened, but the situation was so new, it was easy. I would like to try it in the old situation back home. So you simply go as a new man. You are new. You simply go as a new man. You start doing the work and everything as a new man. Let the situation be as the old you be the new. So in the contrast you will feel for yourself what has happened. It is a constant observation that when people are here they attain much, but not until they go home do they become aware that they have gained a tremendous experience. It is the contrast, mm? There is the temptation to fall back into the old trap. That too helps one to become aware. So you have to go back. Next time you come, then we will see. If you want to be here, you be here, mm? So that is your meditation now, back home: that you feel new, that you be new, and that you don't get into the old pattern. People will try to force you into the old pattern: your family, your friends, office people they will all try. You just have to remember that you don't have any problem. It sometimes happens that person is brought to me and they say he is mad. He meditates and he is perfectly okay; nothing is wrong. Then he goes back home and the family again expects the madness from him. Then he starts falling into the old trap again. He has to play the role. This is one of the most significant things to understand: almost ninety percent of the people who are in madhouses are not mad. They are just playing a role because people have forced that role on them, and they accepted it. They find it comfortable and convenient, and once they accepted it, it doesn't look good to destroy people's expectations. This is my understanding: if you say to a hundred mad people that they are not mad, ninety can come out immediately if they are allowed to come out, and if they are made to understand that they are just playing a game. And it is a foolish game, because they are the losers. So you just drop all that nonsense that you had. Go with a good laugh. Whenever you go, come and see me first. And I am going to hit your head! (a loving chuckle)